Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Moments with the Mullers: 12 Weeks!!
Moments with the Mullers: 12 Weeks!!: Well, we officially made it to 12 weeks. Websites and books tell me that now that we've reached 12 weeks and seen the heartbeat, we have...
12 Weeks!!
Well, we officially made it to 12 weeks. Websites and books tell me that now that we've reached 12 weeks and seen the heartbeat, we have less than a 5% chance of a miscarriage!
Poppyseed is the size of a large plum. I have not gone to WalMart and lovingly held a plum like I did the lime. Poppyseed is about 2 inches and weighs half an ounce. Most of the critical systems are fully formed! Next up is the growth and maturation stage which organs and tissues will grow and develop rapidly. If I poke my belly, the baby will likely move (even though I won't feel it) because reflexes are developing. The baby is also practicing opening and closing the fingers and curling the toes! Baby is growing, growing, growing!
I always thought that when people said that pregnant women craved pickles and ice cream that it's a big joke. It's not a joke. Pickles are definitely a staple in the Muller household. But I do have a specific kind. I like Claussen dills that are sandwich sliced. They are SOOOOOOO flippin' delicious! I also like them with a side of a sharp cheddar wedge. This child is already picky. I also like ice cream. My new favorite is Blue Bonnet Pistacio Almond. Soooo good. Yep, I've already had my pickles and cheese and will eat a little ice cream to go with the dreaded nightly vitamin regimen (the ice cream helps it go down, at least that is what I justify ice cream every night).
Soooooooo, I've also lost another two pounds which means I'm done a total of 5 since my first appointment. He wants me to at least be up 1 pound by February 16th at 15 weeks. I'm really trying. I'm eating all the bad foods, cupcakes, chips, chex mix, ice cream (see above) and nothing is working. I'm not going to panic now. I'm going to wait until the doctor becomes concerned and then I will concern myself.
I also started back to the gym this week. I have a new irrational fear: falling on the treadmill. I've never fell on the treadmill but now I'm afraid that I'm going to fall. I am taking it slow and walking a mile on the track. It's getting my blood pumping and actually helps me sleep a little bit better. It gets me off the couch or bed and is going to help make this pregnancy a healthy and safe one.
For now, that's really it. It's been a good week. We had a nice relaxing weekend that included a mini reunion at the Pitt 8 Tournament. I love seeing people that I haven't seen in a while. I'm really proud to say that I'm from Kiowa and an alumni of Kiowa High School. I've learned so much from that small school that has stuck with me all those years. Yes, I made mistakes, but I also made lifetime friends. It's wonderful to see people after months or even years and still feel the love you had for them all those years ago. It's something special that cannot be replaced.
So, just keep continuing to pray for all three of us. We always welcome prayers.
Thank you for your support, prayers, friendship and love. You all mean so much to us! All three of us!
Poppyseed is the size of a large plum. I have not gone to WalMart and lovingly held a plum like I did the lime. Poppyseed is about 2 inches and weighs half an ounce. Most of the critical systems are fully formed! Next up is the growth and maturation stage which organs and tissues will grow and develop rapidly. If I poke my belly, the baby will likely move (even though I won't feel it) because reflexes are developing. The baby is also practicing opening and closing the fingers and curling the toes! Baby is growing, growing, growing!
I always thought that when people said that pregnant women craved pickles and ice cream that it's a big joke. It's not a joke. Pickles are definitely a staple in the Muller household. But I do have a specific kind. I like Claussen dills that are sandwich sliced. They are SOOOOOOO flippin' delicious! I also like them with a side of a sharp cheddar wedge. This child is already picky. I also like ice cream. My new favorite is Blue Bonnet Pistacio Almond. Soooo good. Yep, I've already had my pickles and cheese and will eat a little ice cream to go with the dreaded nightly vitamin regimen (the ice cream helps it go down, at least that is what I justify ice cream every night).
Soooooooo, I've also lost another two pounds which means I'm done a total of 5 since my first appointment. He wants me to at least be up 1 pound by February 16th at 15 weeks. I'm really trying. I'm eating all the bad foods, cupcakes, chips, chex mix, ice cream (see above) and nothing is working. I'm not going to panic now. I'm going to wait until the doctor becomes concerned and then I will concern myself.
I also started back to the gym this week. I have a new irrational fear: falling on the treadmill. I've never fell on the treadmill but now I'm afraid that I'm going to fall. I am taking it slow and walking a mile on the track. It's getting my blood pumping and actually helps me sleep a little bit better. It gets me off the couch or bed and is going to help make this pregnancy a healthy and safe one.
For now, that's really it. It's been a good week. We had a nice relaxing weekend that included a mini reunion at the Pitt 8 Tournament. I love seeing people that I haven't seen in a while. I'm really proud to say that I'm from Kiowa and an alumni of Kiowa High School. I've learned so much from that small school that has stuck with me all those years. Yes, I made mistakes, but I also made lifetime friends. It's wonderful to see people after months or even years and still feel the love you had for them all those years ago. It's something special that cannot be replaced.
So, just keep continuing to pray for all three of us. We always welcome prayers.
Thank you for your support, prayers, friendship and love. You all mean so much to us! All three of us!
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Moments with the Mullers: I know it's way past Tuesday but here's an update
Moments with the Mullers: I know it's way past Tuesday but here's an update: I know it's not Tuesday and that I update on Tuesday, but this week has been CHAOS so this is literally the only time I've had with ...
I know it's way past Tuesday but here's an update
I know it's not Tuesday and that I update on Tuesday, but this week has been CHAOS so this is literally the only time I've had with my laptop.
So, the main thing this week was our first meeting with our OB, Dr. Henslee. I really do like him. I also know that is important. He immediately addressed my questions and got down to business. OB business, BTW, is not fun business. No one like to be naked from the waist down with their legs in the stirrups. The next six months of this is not something I nor my husband is looking forward to.
First question on the agenda, my girdles. With all of the extra skin I have lagging around, I've been wearing girdles, the kind with metal boning. Johnathan, my sweet husband, insists I don't need to wear them because I beautiful but I NEED them to feel less disgusting. I know it's vain but we discussed this last week, self image is important to me. Anyways, he said I can wear them as long as I can stand them. I've been having some rib pain and that is likely the culprit in this case. So case closed on this mystery. I'm going to wear them until they hurt.... which started Thursday night. Here's my official decision. I will continue to wear them to work or church or special occasions and that is it. Thursday night during class, I was hurting pretty badly. I was so thankful we got out a little early. So, if you see me at WalMart and I'm not looking as svelte as someone who went from a size 28 to a size 12, let's not make a big deal out of it. I know you are saying to yourself "I wouldn't dare!" But you'd be surprised how much I hear "You look like you aren't feeling well." "Your face is a little puffy." "How much weight have you gained?" The answer to that question, BTW, is -2 and is the RUDEST question you could EVER ask ANYONE much less a pregnant girl.
Second question, C-Section or Natural Birth..... He, of course, asked me why on earth I would ask that question. So, let me just back up a little. 5 years and 4 months ago when we decided it was time to start trying, we met with a doctor. This doctor of course put me in the stirrups and got a good look and then stated, "I'm glad I'm not delivering you. Never in a MILLION years would allow you to have a baby naturally. C-Section city for you." This has been burned into my brain for the last five years. Dr. Reshef, which you all know his opinion I HIGHLY value, stated that he didn't see a problem but wouldn't be delivering me and that would be his or her decision. Not much comfort there. Then, of course, we had the bariatric surgeon who said with the cuts into the stomach, that my stomach muscles may or may not be strong enough for the intense pushing that labor requires. I poured the poor man with all of these stories who simply smiled and said let's take a look. So, back into the stirrups I go. I should be use to this because it's been my life for the last 5.4 years. So, he emerged, smiled and said "I don't see any problems. Unless your surgery messed with your uterus which is highly unlikely, we can do this naturally." I honestly felt like the last five years had been a lie. While he couldn't guarantee that a C-Section is off the table, he is optimistic. He ordered a lab and had me set an appointment for a month from Monday which is February 16th. Next ultrasound will be around 20 weeks at which time we will find out if we are having a Princess or a Deere.
So, where does that me? This week I've been feeling scared. Scared is the word. I've never had to face the fear of what is coming with labor because I've always been led to believe that I would have a C-Section. I will be honest. I've never been more scared of ANYTHING in my life. I know women have babies every day and survive. It's not that. I know I will survive the labor but I'm still scared. I'm scared I'm going to be one of those screaming, raving, lunatics in the labor room. I'm scared I'm going to give up half way through. I'm scared I won't be able to take it. I know these are normal feelings and I have six months to mentally and physically prepare but suddenly, that's not enough time.
I'm also scared about the logistics that a new baby brings. Childcare. What are we going to do? How are we going to do it. Daycare or family? How much is a good deal for what you pay? Have you read the news lately? Babysitters putting bruises on babies and daycare fraud. IT IS FREAKING ME OUT!
Next level of anxiety. Am I going to be good at this? We've been running and going and doing what we want for the last almost six years. We sleep when we want. Eat when we want. Go when we want. Buy when we want. I'm worried I won't be a good mother because I've been able to focus on myself and Johnathan for the last six years. The books all say this a normal anxiety but honestly, sometimes, this worry keeps me awake at night. I've wanted it for sooooo long. I've wanted this baby for soooo long and now I'm scared that I won't be good to this baby or deserve this baby.
The biggest anxiety issue that I have now comes from every little things that I feel. I've Googled "What does a miscarriage feel like" so many times that Gooogle recognizes what I'm going to type before I type it. Every little quick or ache or pain and I run right to Google. Last night, I had some extreme toe cramps. It's normal for pregnant women to have leg and foot cramps. But, no joke, I run to Google for every little ache. It freaks me out. I am so on edge about a miscarriage that I'm literally counting down the hours to 12 weeks (which will be Monday) and then again to 16 weeks. Again, I've wanted this so badly that I'm so afraid of losing this baby. I know this is normal and I know my change for miscarriage dramactically changed when I saw and then heard Poppyseed's heartbeat, but it doesn't relieve my fears.
You know what helps? Rubbing my belly. No, I'm not showing but just knowing that there is a little poppyseed growing in there makes me smile and makes my fear melt away for a few minutes. Shopping for the baby. We've bought several onesies and diapers and a co-sleeper for the camper. Only six months and this baby will be here and I can kiss the little face and tickle the toes. I also talk to the baby. I know the baby can't hear and that I may or may not look crazy doing it, but I LOVE this baby. I want this baby to know how much I love this baby. That's why we email the baby once a week. You can email the baby too by the way. The email is muller.popppyseed@gmail.com
Probably my favorite thing, is watching Johnathan. He is so excited. People tell me all the time that he shows off the videos and pictures to everyone who will sit still. He is involved in this pregnancy just as much as I am. He may not be the one growing the baby, but he is just as involved as I am. He shops around for stuff too. He talks to the baby and rubs my belly. I am one blessed woman to have a life-partner and husband like he is. He is supportive and loves the both us so much. He sits up with me at night when I can't sleep and assures me that I'm going to be a good mother and that God will provide for all three of us. He always has and always will. This is why I'm blessed because I have a God-fearing Christian husband who loves me and this baby so much that he masks his own fears for mine.
So, for your update on Poppyseed. We are officially 11 weeks. He or she is the size of a lime. I even went to the limes at WalMart and picked one up and almost bought it to just hold for a while. Poppyseed is looking more like a baby even though the skin is see through. Fingers and toes aren't webbed and we have hair follicles and nail beds that are forming. Poppyseed is growing and looking pretty good!
The Bump (.com) tells me now is the time to plan a babymoon and that I've been trying to do. I'm working with family members who won't make up their mind on what they want to do. We are looking at May because it will be warm but not too warm or cold. We are thinking St. Louis for a family trip. However, if those members of the family don't make up their mind soon, we are going to make our plans that may or may not involve a passport. I found a wonderful cruise that starts in Venice and goes through the Greek Isles. It's a great deal (less than $800 a person); however, the flights are close to $3K. So, unless someone knows a great deal on flights to and from Italy, that's out. But, I also found a great resort in Mexico. So, we are definitely looking to take a good babymoon.
So, I know I've gone off on a few tangents. I've got ALOT on my mind. So I'm asking for prayers of just peace so that I can enjoy this pregnancy whole heartedly. Please don't misunderstand I am blissfully happy which just means that I have more to lose. And continue to pray that Poppyseed continues to grow and stay healthy.
So, the main thing this week was our first meeting with our OB, Dr. Henslee. I really do like him. I also know that is important. He immediately addressed my questions and got down to business. OB business, BTW, is not fun business. No one like to be naked from the waist down with their legs in the stirrups. The next six months of this is not something I nor my husband is looking forward to.
First question on the agenda, my girdles. With all of the extra skin I have lagging around, I've been wearing girdles, the kind with metal boning. Johnathan, my sweet husband, insists I don't need to wear them because I beautiful but I NEED them to feel less disgusting. I know it's vain but we discussed this last week, self image is important to me. Anyways, he said I can wear them as long as I can stand them. I've been having some rib pain and that is likely the culprit in this case. So case closed on this mystery. I'm going to wear them until they hurt.... which started Thursday night. Here's my official decision. I will continue to wear them to work or church or special occasions and that is it. Thursday night during class, I was hurting pretty badly. I was so thankful we got out a little early. So, if you see me at WalMart and I'm not looking as svelte as someone who went from a size 28 to a size 12, let's not make a big deal out of it. I know you are saying to yourself "I wouldn't dare!" But you'd be surprised how much I hear "You look like you aren't feeling well." "Your face is a little puffy." "How much weight have you gained?" The answer to that question, BTW, is -2 and is the RUDEST question you could EVER ask ANYONE much less a pregnant girl.
Second question, C-Section or Natural Birth..... He, of course, asked me why on earth I would ask that question. So, let me just back up a little. 5 years and 4 months ago when we decided it was time to start trying, we met with a doctor. This doctor of course put me in the stirrups and got a good look and then stated, "I'm glad I'm not delivering you. Never in a MILLION years would allow you to have a baby naturally. C-Section city for you." This has been burned into my brain for the last five years. Dr. Reshef, which you all know his opinion I HIGHLY value, stated that he didn't see a problem but wouldn't be delivering me and that would be his or her decision. Not much comfort there. Then, of course, we had the bariatric surgeon who said with the cuts into the stomach, that my stomach muscles may or may not be strong enough for the intense pushing that labor requires. I poured the poor man with all of these stories who simply smiled and said let's take a look. So, back into the stirrups I go. I should be use to this because it's been my life for the last 5.4 years. So, he emerged, smiled and said "I don't see any problems. Unless your surgery messed with your uterus which is highly unlikely, we can do this naturally." I honestly felt like the last five years had been a lie. While he couldn't guarantee that a C-Section is off the table, he is optimistic. He ordered a lab and had me set an appointment for a month from Monday which is February 16th. Next ultrasound will be around 20 weeks at which time we will find out if we are having a Princess or a Deere.
So, where does that me? This week I've been feeling scared. Scared is the word. I've never had to face the fear of what is coming with labor because I've always been led to believe that I would have a C-Section. I will be honest. I've never been more scared of ANYTHING in my life. I know women have babies every day and survive. It's not that. I know I will survive the labor but I'm still scared. I'm scared I'm going to be one of those screaming, raving, lunatics in the labor room. I'm scared I'm going to give up half way through. I'm scared I won't be able to take it. I know these are normal feelings and I have six months to mentally and physically prepare but suddenly, that's not enough time.
I'm also scared about the logistics that a new baby brings. Childcare. What are we going to do? How are we going to do it. Daycare or family? How much is a good deal for what you pay? Have you read the news lately? Babysitters putting bruises on babies and daycare fraud. IT IS FREAKING ME OUT!
Next level of anxiety. Am I going to be good at this? We've been running and going and doing what we want for the last almost six years. We sleep when we want. Eat when we want. Go when we want. Buy when we want. I'm worried I won't be a good mother because I've been able to focus on myself and Johnathan for the last six years. The books all say this a normal anxiety but honestly, sometimes, this worry keeps me awake at night. I've wanted it for sooooo long. I've wanted this baby for soooo long and now I'm scared that I won't be good to this baby or deserve this baby.
The biggest anxiety issue that I have now comes from every little things that I feel. I've Googled "What does a miscarriage feel like" so many times that Gooogle recognizes what I'm going to type before I type it. Every little quick or ache or pain and I run right to Google. Last night, I had some extreme toe cramps. It's normal for pregnant women to have leg and foot cramps. But, no joke, I run to Google for every little ache. It freaks me out. I am so on edge about a miscarriage that I'm literally counting down the hours to 12 weeks (which will be Monday) and then again to 16 weeks. Again, I've wanted this so badly that I'm so afraid of losing this baby. I know this is normal and I know my change for miscarriage dramactically changed when I saw and then heard Poppyseed's heartbeat, but it doesn't relieve my fears.
You know what helps? Rubbing my belly. No, I'm not showing but just knowing that there is a little poppyseed growing in there makes me smile and makes my fear melt away for a few minutes. Shopping for the baby. We've bought several onesies and diapers and a co-sleeper for the camper. Only six months and this baby will be here and I can kiss the little face and tickle the toes. I also talk to the baby. I know the baby can't hear and that I may or may not look crazy doing it, but I LOVE this baby. I want this baby to know how much I love this baby. That's why we email the baby once a week. You can email the baby too by the way. The email is muller.popppyseed@gmail.com
Probably my favorite thing, is watching Johnathan. He is so excited. People tell me all the time that he shows off the videos and pictures to everyone who will sit still. He is involved in this pregnancy just as much as I am. He may not be the one growing the baby, but he is just as involved as I am. He shops around for stuff too. He talks to the baby and rubs my belly. I am one blessed woman to have a life-partner and husband like he is. He is supportive and loves the both us so much. He sits up with me at night when I can't sleep and assures me that I'm going to be a good mother and that God will provide for all three of us. He always has and always will. This is why I'm blessed because I have a God-fearing Christian husband who loves me and this baby so much that he masks his own fears for mine.
So, for your update on Poppyseed. We are officially 11 weeks. He or she is the size of a lime. I even went to the limes at WalMart and picked one up and almost bought it to just hold for a while. Poppyseed is looking more like a baby even though the skin is see through. Fingers and toes aren't webbed and we have hair follicles and nail beds that are forming. Poppyseed is growing and looking pretty good!
The Bump (.com) tells me now is the time to plan a babymoon and that I've been trying to do. I'm working with family members who won't make up their mind on what they want to do. We are looking at May because it will be warm but not too warm or cold. We are thinking St. Louis for a family trip. However, if those members of the family don't make up their mind soon, we are going to make our plans that may or may not involve a passport. I found a wonderful cruise that starts in Venice and goes through the Greek Isles. It's a great deal (less than $800 a person); however, the flights are close to $3K. So, unless someone knows a great deal on flights to and from Italy, that's out. But, I also found a great resort in Mexico. So, we are definitely looking to take a good babymoon.
So, I know I've gone off on a few tangents. I've got ALOT on my mind. So I'm asking for prayers of just peace so that I can enjoy this pregnancy whole heartedly. Please don't misunderstand I am blissfully happy which just means that I have more to lose. And continue to pray that Poppyseed continues to grow and stay healthy.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Moments with the Mullers: Week 10 Update & My Thoughts about Pregnancy & Die...
Moments with the Mullers: Week 10 Update & My Thoughts about Pregnancy & Die...: If last week was the week of feeling like death, this week was feeling like normal. The morning sickness is not as strong and I'm not vo...
Week 10 Update & My Thoughts about Pregnancy & Diet
If last week was the week of feeling like death, this week was feeling like normal. The morning sickness is not as strong and I'm not vomiting anymore. At first I was a little worried, but after a quick trip to Google, I've learned that 80% of women are bothered by morning sickness, but everyone is different and it comes in waves. Comparing myself to other pregnant women is ludicrous because not all pregnancies are the same.
I have in this last week lost a total of 2 pounds. I've also read this is normal. Many women lose weight in early pregnancy because of morning sickness. My fertility specialist was super concerned about weight loss because he wants to make sure that the baby is getting enough nutrients. I can assure the baby is getting what the baby needs. #1. I'm eating and eating often. #2. I've added complex carbs in my diet as well as some unhealthy ones on occasion. #3. I'm on a Vitamin B Complex, Bariatric Vitamins and a Prenatal vitamin. There's enough nutrients in the six tablets I take on a daily basis to supply a horse with nutrients. I'm not saying that I'm eating bags of oreos, but if I feel like it, yes, I have an Oreo or maybe two. Do I feel guilty about this? Not at all.
So, many of my friends have some pretty good advice for me when it comes to pregnancy. I will tell you that I've been researching pregnancy since we decided to start trying. I've read blogs and websites and books and I can guarantee you that NOTHING has prepared me for this experience. It's been scary and it's been exciting. It's been joyous and it's been miserable. There's so much to feel all at once that I can honestly say that I've not been prepared.
A good friend, Stephanie, told me to put What to Expect to the side and read "The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy" by Vickie Iovine. It is WONDERFUL. It doesn't just give you the scientific things that's happening but real life accounts of women and their pregnancies. It's just a different, non-judgmental, view.
I'm not very far into the book but there have been a few things that I have really stuck with me this especially in regards to weight gain and diet.
The first is that my weight is between me and my doctor. It's no one else's business. This is important because the wls part of me is SUPER worried about weight gain and how people are going to feel and see me if I gain weight especially if I gain what people or books say that I should gain. My self image is important to me and the way people perceive me has always mattered to me. But the thing is, it's really not anyone else's business but me and the doctor. He is going to work with me with what is best and is working. That's why he went to medical school and has a successful practice. He is going to know what is best for me and the baby.
Which brings me to the next key point I got from Ms. Iovine "Our self-esteem issues that are tied to weight, and have been since puberty, are not more inappropriate than when we are pregnant." This is not a time to focus on weight loss. This is a time to focus on healthy weight gain and is a time where I can kinda relax and enjoy a time in my life where it's okay for the scale to tip upward. This is so psychological because, as you have read, I've battled weight my WHOLE life. I've never felt pretty or skinny until here recently so this self-esteem thing is pretty important. I need to focus on my self-esteem in knowing that I've never been happier than these last ten weeks knowing that I'm growing a miracle inside of me. Also, because of this little miracle, pregnancy is beautiful whether I don't gain a pound or if I gain 80 pounds. Pregnancy is this gift from God and it is beautiful no matter what.
The last thing that hit me this week was a tip about how to deal with the weight gain at the doctor's office which is to simply ignore it. Again, the doctor is going to work with me on what's best. So Ms. Iovine states to "stand backward on the scale when you are being weighed at the doctor's office and ask them not to tell you how much you've lost or gained." The doctor will alarm you if something isn't right or if he's disappointed or what not. Why stress out about something if there's really no issue. That's what you pay the doctor for to tell you what's right and what's wrong. Which just reiterates that my weight is between my doctor and myself.
So, in short, I'm going to enjoy this pregnancy and not try to focus on the weight gain portion of this pregnancy. That's not what this is about. This is about growing a tiny human and what's best for my poppyseed.
Speaking of my poppyseed, we are officially 10 weeks! Poppyseed is the size of a prune which is almost an inch and half and weighs about 0.14 oz. Poppyseed has working arm joints and cartilage and bones are forming. Vital organs are fully formed and they are even starting to work! Poppyseed is even starting to spout fingernails and hair! Poppyseed is even swallowing and kicking in there! Even though I can't feel it!
We had another ultrasound this week. These are so magical! This week was no different. You can actually see the baby moving. The baby was moving like crazy! Arms and legs and even looked like poppyseed was bouncing about my uterus. The ultrasound tech said that much movement is a good thing because it means the baby is feeling good! I don't think I've stopped smiling since. I did ask the ultrasound tech if this many ultrasounds will continue. I'm 10 weeks and had 3 ultrasounds already. I'm not complaining, but this isn't something they normally do but because I'm labeled high risk, they are just watching me and my little miracle closely. She said that because I've had three really good ultrasounds and there's basically nothing alarming the physician that they will probably start to slow down a bit. It kinda makes me sad that I don't get to see the baby as much, but I'm glad we are both healthy so far.
So, prayer requests for this week are for continued good news as we meet Dr. Henslee for the first time on Monday. Also, say a prayer that as I started my second semester of grad school, that my energy will keep up with this fast paced lifestyle for the rest of the semester. Only 16 weeks until summer break!!
Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. Having friends and family like you to share this with this what makes this experience worth sharing. God bless you and know that Johnathan and I love you all very much!
I have in this last week lost a total of 2 pounds. I've also read this is normal. Many women lose weight in early pregnancy because of morning sickness. My fertility specialist was super concerned about weight loss because he wants to make sure that the baby is getting enough nutrients. I can assure the baby is getting what the baby needs. #1. I'm eating and eating often. #2. I've added complex carbs in my diet as well as some unhealthy ones on occasion. #3. I'm on a Vitamin B Complex, Bariatric Vitamins and a Prenatal vitamin. There's enough nutrients in the six tablets I take on a daily basis to supply a horse with nutrients. I'm not saying that I'm eating bags of oreos, but if I feel like it, yes, I have an Oreo or maybe two. Do I feel guilty about this? Not at all.
So, many of my friends have some pretty good advice for me when it comes to pregnancy. I will tell you that I've been researching pregnancy since we decided to start trying. I've read blogs and websites and books and I can guarantee you that NOTHING has prepared me for this experience. It's been scary and it's been exciting. It's been joyous and it's been miserable. There's so much to feel all at once that I can honestly say that I've not been prepared.
A good friend, Stephanie, told me to put What to Expect to the side and read "The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy" by Vickie Iovine. It is WONDERFUL. It doesn't just give you the scientific things that's happening but real life accounts of women and their pregnancies. It's just a different, non-judgmental, view.
I'm not very far into the book but there have been a few things that I have really stuck with me this especially in regards to weight gain and diet.
The first is that my weight is between me and my doctor. It's no one else's business. This is important because the wls part of me is SUPER worried about weight gain and how people are going to feel and see me if I gain weight especially if I gain what people or books say that I should gain. My self image is important to me and the way people perceive me has always mattered to me. But the thing is, it's really not anyone else's business but me and the doctor. He is going to work with me with what is best and is working. That's why he went to medical school and has a successful practice. He is going to know what is best for me and the baby.
Which brings me to the next key point I got from Ms. Iovine "Our self-esteem issues that are tied to weight, and have been since puberty, are not more inappropriate than when we are pregnant." This is not a time to focus on weight loss. This is a time to focus on healthy weight gain and is a time where I can kinda relax and enjoy a time in my life where it's okay for the scale to tip upward. This is so psychological because, as you have read, I've battled weight my WHOLE life. I've never felt pretty or skinny until here recently so this self-esteem thing is pretty important. I need to focus on my self-esteem in knowing that I've never been happier than these last ten weeks knowing that I'm growing a miracle inside of me. Also, because of this little miracle, pregnancy is beautiful whether I don't gain a pound or if I gain 80 pounds. Pregnancy is this gift from God and it is beautiful no matter what.
The last thing that hit me this week was a tip about how to deal with the weight gain at the doctor's office which is to simply ignore it. Again, the doctor is going to work with me on what's best. So Ms. Iovine states to "stand backward on the scale when you are being weighed at the doctor's office and ask them not to tell you how much you've lost or gained." The doctor will alarm you if something isn't right or if he's disappointed or what not. Why stress out about something if there's really no issue. That's what you pay the doctor for to tell you what's right and what's wrong. Which just reiterates that my weight is between my doctor and myself.
So, in short, I'm going to enjoy this pregnancy and not try to focus on the weight gain portion of this pregnancy. That's not what this is about. This is about growing a tiny human and what's best for my poppyseed.
Speaking of my poppyseed, we are officially 10 weeks! Poppyseed is the size of a prune which is almost an inch and half and weighs about 0.14 oz. Poppyseed has working arm joints and cartilage and bones are forming. Vital organs are fully formed and they are even starting to work! Poppyseed is even starting to spout fingernails and hair! Poppyseed is even swallowing and kicking in there! Even though I can't feel it!
We had another ultrasound this week. These are so magical! This week was no different. You can actually see the baby moving. The baby was moving like crazy! Arms and legs and even looked like poppyseed was bouncing about my uterus. The ultrasound tech said that much movement is a good thing because it means the baby is feeling good! I don't think I've stopped smiling since. I did ask the ultrasound tech if this many ultrasounds will continue. I'm 10 weeks and had 3 ultrasounds already. I'm not complaining, but this isn't something they normally do but because I'm labeled high risk, they are just watching me and my little miracle closely. She said that because I've had three really good ultrasounds and there's basically nothing alarming the physician that they will probably start to slow down a bit. It kinda makes me sad that I don't get to see the baby as much, but I'm glad we are both healthy so far.
So, prayer requests for this week are for continued good news as we meet Dr. Henslee for the first time on Monday. Also, say a prayer that as I started my second semester of grad school, that my energy will keep up with this fast paced lifestyle for the rest of the semester. Only 16 weeks until summer break!!
Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. Having friends and family like you to share this with this what makes this experience worth sharing. God bless you and know that Johnathan and I love you all very much!
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Moments with the Mullers: First blog of 2015!
Moments with the Mullers: First blog of 2015!: It's a new year year! Happy New Year (6 days late)! I know it's been two weeks since I've blogged. Life has been a whirlwind s...
First blog of 2015!
It's a new year year! Happy New Year (6 days late)!
I know it's been two weeks since I've blogged. Life has been a whirlwind since we got the big news. There was Christmas and then the New Year but it's finally starting to slow down.
So, Christmas was wonderful. I really do love Christmas because we get to celebrate God's greatest gift to us which was His Son, Jesus Christ. I also love the "magic" of Christmas. I love for my loved ones to open the gifts and love them. Nothing makes me happier.
On December 30th, I met with Dr. Henslee's office. I didn't get to see Dr. Henslee but I met with his nurse and got all the medical questions out of the way. So, if you know me, you know that I am SUPER organized. I had everything in order to start the appointment including past medical records (in chronological order) and a detailed list of all my current medications. I am a bit OCD about things. I was listed as high risk because of the surgery and the fact that we've been infertile for the past five years. But, so far, it's a healthy pregnancy and nothing to be worried about. We made our appointment to meet Dr. Henslee and for yet another ultrasound. One positive of being labeled as high risk is getting to see my baby every two weeks. I anticipate that is going to slow down, but it is awful nice.
New Years Eve was amazing! We got up that morning and dropped Crimson off for boarding. Can I just take a moment to tell you how much I love that puppy. He is an amazing dog and I'm so glad we decided to bring him home and that he chose to love us! I do hate boarding him. I miss him so much when he's there but I know he's in good hands at the vet. We took off to OKC. I have the best reproductive endocrinologist in the world. Dr. Reshef and his entire office are amazing. And I'm not just saying that because I'm growing a human. I'm saying that because I've never worked with a doctor as kind and understanding as he is. He's been there for us these last five years. If you or anyone you know is in need of a fertility specialist or reproductive endocrinologist, message me. I'll give you all the details. Anyways, this time we videoed the ultrasound. If you wanna see it, just ask me in person. I don't want to post it online because it does have PHI on it. But it's magical. The heart rate was 166. The baby is growing right on track! We also got to hear the heartbeat for the first time. It was perfect. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. And it was just a simple rhythm. I don't know how a 15 minute appointment can mean so much but it does. After it was over, Dr. Reshef officially told us that we had graduated the infertility program. He hugged me and I cried. No joke, this doctor is the best.
We also spent NYE with the Miller family. I've started the new year with my best friend Vanessa Miller every year for the last 11 years. It's always been a blast and this year was no exception. Games and good food and great conversation. The baby also got the first gift. Tommy made us a bassinet. It's beautiful and handmade. It's going to look awesome! I'm so proud of it! The Miller family has been so good to me throughout the year and I can't wait to share this experience and for this baby to be a part of it.
We headed out to Duncan on New Year's Day to spend time with Paul, Sherry, Nathan, Amanda & Kainan. We always have a great time in Duncan. We got to spend some time with our family and celebrate Christmas with them. We love our time in Duncan and hate that we don't get to go more often. Thank you Paul, Sherry, Nathan & Amanda for always making us feel welcome and for loving us so much!
We came home on Saturday so that I can have a little rest before work started. I'm glad that we did because Sunday is when the morning sickness really set in. I got up Sunday morning and could just feel something didn't feel the same. I rested all day but Sunday night I was up all night with it. I'm not complaining but I started this blog being honest and honestly, I talk about the magic part of the ultrasounds but it's not all magical. Morning sickness or all day and night sickness is no joke. It's not fun at all. The smallest thing or movement can set it all off again. It SUCKS! But, I believe, in the end, it's all worth it.
Today, I'm feeling a little better. I've been able to hold down two meals and two snacks. I had enough energy for an 8 hour work day as well as a trip to Walmart. I know it's going to be cold, so I'm guessing people ran to Walmart because #1: They were out of everything and #2: the lines were horribly long.
So, now let's get to the focus of the blog for 2015. Our poppyseed. Our poppyseed is 9 weeks! Poppyseed is the size of a green olive like the one they put in a martini. Tiny muscles are begining to form and he or she is moving her arms and legs. We also reached a milestone is that we no longer have an embryo but a fetus. It's a pretty big deal for the first trimester. We also have some distinct facial features. Poppyseed is starting to look more like a baby and less like a tadpole.
So, continue to pray for our little poppyseed and that he keeps growing. It's been a wonderful journey for the three of us so far!
Also, we've set up an email account for our poppyseed. I've been emailing her every week and plan to until he is born. Then for the first year every month and then every year until she is 18 and then I'll give him the password. If you want to send poppyseed some love too the email address is muller.poppyseed@gmail.com. Feel free to send some love!
Thank you for your support and prayers. We love you all!
I know it's been two weeks since I've blogged. Life has been a whirlwind since we got the big news. There was Christmas and then the New Year but it's finally starting to slow down.
So, Christmas was wonderful. I really do love Christmas because we get to celebrate God's greatest gift to us which was His Son, Jesus Christ. I also love the "magic" of Christmas. I love for my loved ones to open the gifts and love them. Nothing makes me happier.
On December 30th, I met with Dr. Henslee's office. I didn't get to see Dr. Henslee but I met with his nurse and got all the medical questions out of the way. So, if you know me, you know that I am SUPER organized. I had everything in order to start the appointment including past medical records (in chronological order) and a detailed list of all my current medications. I am a bit OCD about things. I was listed as high risk because of the surgery and the fact that we've been infertile for the past five years. But, so far, it's a healthy pregnancy and nothing to be worried about. We made our appointment to meet Dr. Henslee and for yet another ultrasound. One positive of being labeled as high risk is getting to see my baby every two weeks. I anticipate that is going to slow down, but it is awful nice.
New Years Eve was amazing! We got up that morning and dropped Crimson off for boarding. Can I just take a moment to tell you how much I love that puppy. He is an amazing dog and I'm so glad we decided to bring him home and that he chose to love us! I do hate boarding him. I miss him so much when he's there but I know he's in good hands at the vet. We took off to OKC. I have the best reproductive endocrinologist in the world. Dr. Reshef and his entire office are amazing. And I'm not just saying that because I'm growing a human. I'm saying that because I've never worked with a doctor as kind and understanding as he is. He's been there for us these last five years. If you or anyone you know is in need of a fertility specialist or reproductive endocrinologist, message me. I'll give you all the details. Anyways, this time we videoed the ultrasound. If you wanna see it, just ask me in person. I don't want to post it online because it does have PHI on it. But it's magical. The heart rate was 166. The baby is growing right on track! We also got to hear the heartbeat for the first time. It was perfect. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. And it was just a simple rhythm. I don't know how a 15 minute appointment can mean so much but it does. After it was over, Dr. Reshef officially told us that we had graduated the infertility program. He hugged me and I cried. No joke, this doctor is the best.
We also spent NYE with the Miller family. I've started the new year with my best friend Vanessa Miller every year for the last 11 years. It's always been a blast and this year was no exception. Games and good food and great conversation. The baby also got the first gift. Tommy made us a bassinet. It's beautiful and handmade. It's going to look awesome! I'm so proud of it! The Miller family has been so good to me throughout the year and I can't wait to share this experience and for this baby to be a part of it.
We headed out to Duncan on New Year's Day to spend time with Paul, Sherry, Nathan, Amanda & Kainan. We always have a great time in Duncan. We got to spend some time with our family and celebrate Christmas with them. We love our time in Duncan and hate that we don't get to go more often. Thank you Paul, Sherry, Nathan & Amanda for always making us feel welcome and for loving us so much!
We came home on Saturday so that I can have a little rest before work started. I'm glad that we did because Sunday is when the morning sickness really set in. I got up Sunday morning and could just feel something didn't feel the same. I rested all day but Sunday night I was up all night with it. I'm not complaining but I started this blog being honest and honestly, I talk about the magic part of the ultrasounds but it's not all magical. Morning sickness or all day and night sickness is no joke. It's not fun at all. The smallest thing or movement can set it all off again. It SUCKS! But, I believe, in the end, it's all worth it.
Today, I'm feeling a little better. I've been able to hold down two meals and two snacks. I had enough energy for an 8 hour work day as well as a trip to Walmart. I know it's going to be cold, so I'm guessing people ran to Walmart because #1: They were out of everything and #2: the lines were horribly long.
So, now let's get to the focus of the blog for 2015. Our poppyseed. Our poppyseed is 9 weeks! Poppyseed is the size of a green olive like the one they put in a martini. Tiny muscles are begining to form and he or she is moving her arms and legs. We also reached a milestone is that we no longer have an embryo but a fetus. It's a pretty big deal for the first trimester. We also have some distinct facial features. Poppyseed is starting to look more like a baby and less like a tadpole.
So, continue to pray for our little poppyseed and that he keeps growing. It's been a wonderful journey for the three of us so far!
Also, we've set up an email account for our poppyseed. I've been emailing her every week and plan to until he is born. Then for the first year every month and then every year until she is 18 and then I'll give him the password. If you want to send poppyseed some love too the email address is muller.poppyseed@gmail.com. Feel free to send some love!
Thank you for your support and prayers. We love you all!
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