If last week was the week of feeling like death, this week was feeling like normal. The morning sickness is not as strong and I'm not vomiting anymore. At first I was a little worried, but after a quick trip to Google, I've learned that 80% of women are bothered by morning sickness, but everyone is different and it comes in waves. Comparing myself to other pregnant women is ludicrous because not all pregnancies are the same.
I have in this last week lost a total of 2 pounds. I've also read this is normal. Many women lose weight in early pregnancy because of morning sickness. My fertility specialist was super concerned about weight loss because he wants to make sure that the baby is getting enough nutrients. I can assure the baby is getting what the baby needs. #1. I'm eating and eating often. #2. I've added complex carbs in my diet as well as some unhealthy ones on occasion. #3. I'm on a Vitamin B Complex, Bariatric Vitamins and a Prenatal vitamin. There's enough nutrients in the six tablets I take on a daily basis to supply a horse with nutrients. I'm not saying that I'm eating bags of oreos, but if I feel like it, yes, I have an Oreo or maybe two. Do I feel guilty about this? Not at all.
So, many of my friends have some pretty good advice for me when it comes to pregnancy. I will tell you that I've been researching pregnancy since we decided to start trying. I've read blogs and websites and books and I can guarantee you that NOTHING has prepared me for this experience. It's been scary and it's been exciting. It's been joyous and it's been miserable. There's so much to feel all at once that I can honestly say that I've not been prepared.
A good friend, Stephanie, told me to put What to Expect to the side and read "The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy" by Vickie Iovine. It is WONDERFUL. It doesn't just give you the scientific things that's happening but real life accounts of women and their pregnancies. It's just a different, non-judgmental, view.
I'm not very far into the book but there have been a few things that I have really stuck with me this especially in regards to weight gain and diet.
The first is that my weight is between me and my doctor. It's no one else's business. This is important because the wls part of me is SUPER worried about weight gain and how people are going to feel and see me if I gain weight especially if I gain what people or books say that I should gain. My self image is important to me and the way people perceive me has always mattered to me. But the thing is, it's really not anyone else's business but me and the doctor. He is going to work with me with what is best and is working. That's why he went to medical school and has a successful practice. He is going to know what is best for me and the baby.
Which brings me to the next key point I got from Ms. Iovine "Our self-esteem issues that are tied to weight, and have been since puberty, are not more inappropriate than when we are pregnant." This is not a time to focus on weight loss. This is a time to focus on healthy weight gain and is a time where I can kinda relax and enjoy a time in my life where it's okay for the scale to tip upward. This is so psychological because, as you have read, I've battled weight my WHOLE life. I've never felt pretty or skinny until here recently so this self-esteem thing is pretty important. I need to focus on my self-esteem in knowing that I've never been happier than these last ten weeks knowing that I'm growing a miracle inside of me. Also, because of this little miracle, pregnancy is beautiful whether I don't gain a pound or if I gain 80 pounds. Pregnancy is this gift from God and it is beautiful no matter what.
The last thing that hit me this week was a tip about how to deal with the weight gain at the doctor's office which is to simply ignore it. Again, the doctor is going to work with me on what's best. So Ms. Iovine states to "stand backward on the scale when you are being weighed at the doctor's office and ask them not to tell you how much you've lost or gained." The doctor will alarm you if something isn't right or if he's disappointed or what not. Why stress out about something if there's really no issue. That's what you pay the doctor for to tell you what's right and what's wrong. Which just reiterates that my weight is between my doctor and myself.
So, in short, I'm going to enjoy this pregnancy and not try to focus on the weight gain portion of this pregnancy. That's not what this is about. This is about growing a tiny human and what's best for my poppyseed.
Speaking of my poppyseed, we are officially 10 weeks! Poppyseed is the size of a prune which is almost an inch and half and weighs about 0.14 oz. Poppyseed has working arm joints and cartilage and bones are forming. Vital organs are fully formed and they are even starting to work! Poppyseed is even starting to spout fingernails and hair! Poppyseed is even swallowing and kicking in there! Even though I can't feel it!
We had another ultrasound this week. These are so magical! This week was no different. You can actually see the baby moving. The baby was moving like crazy! Arms and legs and even looked like poppyseed was bouncing about my uterus. The ultrasound tech said that much movement is a good thing because it means the baby is feeling good! I don't think I've stopped smiling since. I did ask the ultrasound tech if this many ultrasounds will continue. I'm 10 weeks and had 3 ultrasounds already. I'm not complaining, but this isn't something they normally do but because I'm labeled high risk, they are just watching me and my little miracle closely. She said that because I've had three really good ultrasounds and there's basically nothing alarming the physician that they will probably start to slow down a bit. It kinda makes me sad that I don't get to see the baby as much, but I'm glad we are both healthy so far.
So, prayer requests for this week are for continued good news as we meet Dr. Henslee for the first time on Monday. Also, say a prayer that as I started my second semester of grad school, that my energy will keep up with this fast paced lifestyle for the rest of the semester. Only 16 weeks until summer break!!
Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. Having friends and family like you to share this with this what makes this experience worth sharing. God bless you and know that Johnathan and I love you all very much!
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