Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Moments with the Mullers: It's Real Now Folks!
Moments with the Mullers: It's Real Now Folks!: It has been a busy busy couple of weeks here with the Mullers! Family Christmases, work and more work, church activities and so much more! W...
It's Real Now Folks!
It has been a busy busy couple of weeks here with the Mullers! Family Christmases, work and more work, church activities and so much more! We've traveled to Dallas and back and OKC and back and I'm about exhausted.
On Monday, we had yet another doctor's appointment. We went and I weighed in and found out that yes I am only 7 pounds to my goal! Dr. B is more than impressed with the results. I'm really down 35 pounds, but only 27 count (to me they all count, 35 is a big number!) He and I decided on a surgery date of January 28th. He's going to be out of the office and I'm in the middle of some important things and that was a good date to meet both of our schedules. It is officially real. I've paid the money for the surgery and recieved my next three appointments. The first is the pre-op appointment which I will recieve all the pre-op instructions. I've read lots of lots of things on the internet including that I will be on a liquid diet for a week: NEWS FLASH: The internet was wrong. It will probably only be 24-48 hours long. I can handle that. Not gonna lie: I was a little concerned about the pre-op diet. Another question was that I was told that I cannot take any pills. That was also inaccurate. I can continue to take the one I was worried about which was birth control. I will also have to have some lab work done on that day. They told me what it was but honestly, I can't remember and she used the abbreviations so I have no clue what they are :). The next appointment is on January 22nd and that's where I have to attend a post-op diet class to discuss the strict diet that follows surgery. Then the last is the 28th where I have the surgery.
After I met with Dr. B, I met with my dietician. It was okay. I was honest about my Thanksgiving trip cheating (chips, tortillas and queso and a little chocolate at the Hershey factory) and honest about the sickening effect that cheating had on my stomach. She said that obviously I hadn't been cheating too badly because I am so close to goal. It made me feel a little less guilty.
Exercise was not as forgiving. I really really tried to get to the gym, but things have been so crazy that I haven't gotten to go as often as I need to. He really emphasized to make the time. I just wanted to invite him back to my life and see what he can fit in where and with what energy?! But, he is right. I need to prioritize and this should be near the top.
All in all, it was a good visit. It's real now because I actually have a date and instructions. I'm a little excited but starting to get a little scared. What is something goes wrong? What if it doesn't work? What if I'm part of that slim percentage that still is ravenous hungry after the surgery and gain the weight back? I can do this over and over.
Anyways, for now, I'm going to enjoy Christmas and a New Year and prepare for a healthier me. I would say new me, but I don't believe my appearance defines me. I will still be the same, fun-loving, kind-hearting, God-fearing woman that I was raised to be. Just asking for prayers of reassurance and calming and that there are no complications: pre-surgery, surgery or post surgery.
And one finally thing:
From the Muller Household to yours,
Merry Christmas! And Happy New Year!
On Monday, we had yet another doctor's appointment. We went and I weighed in and found out that yes I am only 7 pounds to my goal! Dr. B is more than impressed with the results. I'm really down 35 pounds, but only 27 count (to me they all count, 35 is a big number!) He and I decided on a surgery date of January 28th. He's going to be out of the office and I'm in the middle of some important things and that was a good date to meet both of our schedules. It is officially real. I've paid the money for the surgery and recieved my next three appointments. The first is the pre-op appointment which I will recieve all the pre-op instructions. I've read lots of lots of things on the internet including that I will be on a liquid diet for a week: NEWS FLASH: The internet was wrong. It will probably only be 24-48 hours long. I can handle that. Not gonna lie: I was a little concerned about the pre-op diet. Another question was that I was told that I cannot take any pills. That was also inaccurate. I can continue to take the one I was worried about which was birth control. I will also have to have some lab work done on that day. They told me what it was but honestly, I can't remember and she used the abbreviations so I have no clue what they are :). The next appointment is on January 22nd and that's where I have to attend a post-op diet class to discuss the strict diet that follows surgery. Then the last is the 28th where I have the surgery.
After I met with Dr. B, I met with my dietician. It was okay. I was honest about my Thanksgiving trip cheating (chips, tortillas and queso and a little chocolate at the Hershey factory) and honest about the sickening effect that cheating had on my stomach. She said that obviously I hadn't been cheating too badly because I am so close to goal. It made me feel a little less guilty.
Exercise was not as forgiving. I really really tried to get to the gym, but things have been so crazy that I haven't gotten to go as often as I need to. He really emphasized to make the time. I just wanted to invite him back to my life and see what he can fit in where and with what energy?! But, he is right. I need to prioritize and this should be near the top.
All in all, it was a good visit. It's real now because I actually have a date and instructions. I'm a little excited but starting to get a little scared. What is something goes wrong? What if it doesn't work? What if I'm part of that slim percentage that still is ravenous hungry after the surgery and gain the weight back? I can do this over and over.
Anyways, for now, I'm going to enjoy Christmas and a New Year and prepare for a healthier me. I would say new me, but I don't believe my appearance defines me. I will still be the same, fun-loving, kind-hearting, God-fearing woman that I was raised to be. Just asking for prayers of reassurance and calming and that there are no complications: pre-surgery, surgery or post surgery.
And one finally thing:
From the Muller Household to yours,
Merry Christmas! And Happy New Year!
Friday, November 22, 2013
Moments with the Mullers: Moments with the Mullers: A Whole New Perspective ...
Moments with the Mullers: Moments with the Mullers: A Whole New Perspective ...: Moments with the Mullers: A Whole New Perspective on this WLS thing... : Let me pick this back up by saying that I did start on my new diet ...
4 More Down!!!!
Here's an update from my doc appointment yesterday:
First off, this was my first official weigh in and...drumroll please...I'm down another 4 pounds totaling 16 pounds. I'm half-way there to my pre-weight loss requirement! Whoot Whoot! It's cool if you want to celebrate with me.
I met with exercise first. My excercise specialist is really nice. I've been following his plan except for one thing: The stretches. I am supposed to do them every day; however, I only do them on gym days. And I'm not going to lie, I feel like a freaking idiot when I do them because I'm in the middle of the gym... Anyways, he's pretty happy with my 4 days a week at the gym. Mostly, I just walk on the treadmill, but I've been trying to go evenly to treadmill and to water aerobics because you know I love water aerobics. I also tried cycling. I got about 10 minutes in and gave up. My legs were on FIRE! But i got on the treadmill for another 30 and went about my day. I've come to love my time at the gym. It's a time to de-compress and de-stress. It's a time for me, music and a good book (or Pinterest). Anyways, I just have to continue what I'm doing!
Then I met with the dietician. I've been doing everything that she said to do and guess what it's working. I was honest with her about what I'm eating and told her about my breakdown. The other day, I was picking up dinner up for Michael, Megan and Rylee at KFC. I was pretty pumped because they have grilled chicken and green beans. But of course, they were out. So, I got them dinner (chicken strips, mashed potatoes and gravy & Mac & Cheese). It smelled so good and wanted sooooo bad. I cried all the way from KFC to Wendy's (where I got a cup of chili and a grilled chicken sandwich, sans bread). I didn't give in. Will power prevailed! Score! Anyways, I'm doing pretty good here too!
Next was the appointment with the PA. I was honest about my little ER visit. Last Monday, I went to the ER and was one point away from needing a blood transfusion. It was embarrassing and scary; but I'm okay. No cause for worry. Also, my BP was 145/89 which is high. We are guessing that my BP is up because of the birth control. I've made an appointment with my GYN to discuss other BC options: I'm mainly looking at the patch. If anybody has any experience with the patch, PM me and we'll talk. Anyways, the PA was extremly happy with my results! I showed her my jeans (which have a gap in the back and the side) and she was quick to point out that even though the scale may start to now drop as fast, there will be signs such as bigger clothes, loose rings, and people noticing. I can't see it yet, but other people have said things.
Finally, we had support group. Group isn't a ball of fun, but I get a little out of it. There were two women that day that had babies. What more of a sign do I need??? There was also a woman who lost 185 pounds in 14 months! I want to be the one that gets to say that at group one! They also mentioned before and after photos and I am seriously considering it. Again, any comments on this questions is welcome. Should I or no? I don't know, I'll think about it.
So, in short, things are going GREAT! I'm working hard and making life choices that are going to change everything. It's not easy. Tonight, we went to see Catching Fire (Amazing, by the way) and that Popcorn and Nachos smelled sooooo freaking good. But I got a pickle, some jerky and some water and enjoyed the movie. Little by little the cravings are getting better. I have noticed I'm a little more emotional now-a-days. I'm crying at every little thing. I'm sleeping better and have more energy. I can't wait to get this thing going!
First off, this was my first official weigh in and...drumroll please...I'm down another 4 pounds totaling 16 pounds. I'm half-way there to my pre-weight loss requirement! Whoot Whoot! It's cool if you want to celebrate with me.
I met with exercise first. My excercise specialist is really nice. I've been following his plan except for one thing: The stretches. I am supposed to do them every day; however, I only do them on gym days. And I'm not going to lie, I feel like a freaking idiot when I do them because I'm in the middle of the gym... Anyways, he's pretty happy with my 4 days a week at the gym. Mostly, I just walk on the treadmill, but I've been trying to go evenly to treadmill and to water aerobics because you know I love water aerobics. I also tried cycling. I got about 10 minutes in and gave up. My legs were on FIRE! But i got on the treadmill for another 30 and went about my day. I've come to love my time at the gym. It's a time to de-compress and de-stress. It's a time for me, music and a good book (or Pinterest). Anyways, I just have to continue what I'm doing!
Then I met with the dietician. I've been doing everything that she said to do and guess what it's working. I was honest with her about what I'm eating and told her about my breakdown. The other day, I was picking up dinner up for Michael, Megan and Rylee at KFC. I was pretty pumped because they have grilled chicken and green beans. But of course, they were out. So, I got them dinner (chicken strips, mashed potatoes and gravy & Mac & Cheese). It smelled so good and wanted sooooo bad. I cried all the way from KFC to Wendy's (where I got a cup of chili and a grilled chicken sandwich, sans bread). I didn't give in. Will power prevailed! Score! Anyways, I'm doing pretty good here too!
Next was the appointment with the PA. I was honest about my little ER visit. Last Monday, I went to the ER and was one point away from needing a blood transfusion. It was embarrassing and scary; but I'm okay. No cause for worry. Also, my BP was 145/89 which is high. We are guessing that my BP is up because of the birth control. I've made an appointment with my GYN to discuss other BC options: I'm mainly looking at the patch. If anybody has any experience with the patch, PM me and we'll talk. Anyways, the PA was extremly happy with my results! I showed her my jeans (which have a gap in the back and the side) and she was quick to point out that even though the scale may start to now drop as fast, there will be signs such as bigger clothes, loose rings, and people noticing. I can't see it yet, but other people have said things.
Finally, we had support group. Group isn't a ball of fun, but I get a little out of it. There were two women that day that had babies. What more of a sign do I need??? There was also a woman who lost 185 pounds in 14 months! I want to be the one that gets to say that at group one! They also mentioned before and after photos and I am seriously considering it. Again, any comments on this questions is welcome. Should I or no? I don't know, I'll think about it.
So, in short, things are going GREAT! I'm working hard and making life choices that are going to change everything. It's not easy. Tonight, we went to see Catching Fire (Amazing, by the way) and that Popcorn and Nachos smelled sooooo freaking good. But I got a pickle, some jerky and some water and enjoyed the movie. Little by little the cravings are getting better. I have noticed I'm a little more emotional now-a-days. I'm crying at every little thing. I'm sleeping better and have more energy. I can't wait to get this thing going!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Moments with the Mullers: A Whole New Perspective on this WLS thing...
Moments with the Mullers: A Whole New Perspective on this WLS thing...: Let me pick this back up by saying that I did start on my new diet on Monday. I had a shake for breakfast, a protein bar for am snack, anoth...
A Whole New Perspective on this WLS thing...
Let me pick this back up by saying that I did start on my new diet on Monday. I had a shake for breakfast, a protein bar for am snack, another shake around lunch time, another protein bar for afternoon snack and a dinner that conisisted of a lean protein and vegetables. On Monday, I had a total of 970 calories and on Tuesday I had about 1010. On Tuesday night, I was starving. I also had 92 ounces of liquid. Also during lunch time, I've been walking around going up stairs and such which was roughly 1/2 mile. On Monday I walked a mile on the treadmill and on Tuesday, I went to water aerobics. I love water aerobics.
This morning was my appointment with the dietician, exercise specialist, and psychologist. The absolute first thing that we did was I weighed in. I lost 1.7 pounds (mind you, I didn't start this until Monday). It's not much, but I'll take it!
First was diet. She asked about my eating habits and food preferences. We all know that I have some very bad eating habits; however, her biggest concerns are that I am skipping meals and not getting enough liquid. While she loved my enthisium, she said I over did it on the calorie cutting. She gave me a new diet plan to stick to. It includes a shake for breakfast, protein bar for snack, lean protein and veggies for lunch, protein bar for snack, lean protein and veggies for lunch, and if I feel I am still hungry at night I can have another shake or I can sugar free jello or a sugar free popsicle. No starchy veggies, no starches, no fruit. It will be hard at time, but, I can do this.
Next was excercise. He was pretty impressed with what I've done so far and wants me to keep it up. He does want me to watch my intensity. It's not about intensity: it's about consisentcy. Fat burn actually happens in zone 1 of heart rate. I should be keeping my heart rate between 115-124. It's hard because I feel that I'm not pushing myself at that rate. But, I'm going to keep trying. I also have to do some stretching every day. He suggested that I take two tests. One shows my metabolic rate. The other is an actual physical test that shows where my fat burn is happening. So, I'm going to give this month a try with the diet and excerise and see where I am.
Finally, was psychology. I was nervous and not looking forward to this. As a psychology minor, I imagined every kind of test possible that could be done. You have to pass psychology to get the surgery because there are many different issues that can prevent you from being a success. Before I had my visit with the doctor, I had to complete an 18 page questionnaire about different aspects of my life. He came in and started asking me questions about my support system (which includes of you since you all are so supportive), my childhood, my marriage, my job, my school and my goals. Dr. Keller really made me feel good about myself. He told me that I am the perfect patient for this surgery. He said with because I am self-reliant and self-disciplined that he can tell that I am a go-getter and set out to accomplish what I am doing. He can tell that I am hard worker and what is really important to me. It has been really easy in this infertility thing to lose sight of my strength and good qualities. I know you all tell me this all the time because it felt a little more real knowing someone that I just met recognized it. His only concern is that because I am so Type A and goal minded, that I can take the surgery restrictions too far. I can cut too many calories (obviously, I was already told that I did that) or excercise too much which can be bad because then your body thinks you are starving it and starts storing because it's not sure when you'll feed it again. I just have to be careful and follow the diet as planned not to maximize the weight loss. With the goal of a baby in sight, I have a strong enough goal to help keep that in perspective. He said that the Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) is not about weight loss. While the weight loss will be dramactic and worth celebrating, I really need to focus on the metabolism recharging which will help keep the weight off for good and keep me healthy.
So, it was a good day and I walked away with a different perspective on the whole WLS thing and a recharged self-confidence in myself. I go back on the 21st of November so be praying for me as I dig into this pre-op diet to lose my 10%. I almost have 2 pounds off of that so celebrate that with me!
This morning was my appointment with the dietician, exercise specialist, and psychologist. The absolute first thing that we did was I weighed in. I lost 1.7 pounds (mind you, I didn't start this until Monday). It's not much, but I'll take it!
First was diet. She asked about my eating habits and food preferences. We all know that I have some very bad eating habits; however, her biggest concerns are that I am skipping meals and not getting enough liquid. While she loved my enthisium, she said I over did it on the calorie cutting. She gave me a new diet plan to stick to. It includes a shake for breakfast, protein bar for snack, lean protein and veggies for lunch, protein bar for snack, lean protein and veggies for lunch, and if I feel I am still hungry at night I can have another shake or I can sugar free jello or a sugar free popsicle. No starchy veggies, no starches, no fruit. It will be hard at time, but, I can do this.
Next was excercise. He was pretty impressed with what I've done so far and wants me to keep it up. He does want me to watch my intensity. It's not about intensity: it's about consisentcy. Fat burn actually happens in zone 1 of heart rate. I should be keeping my heart rate between 115-124. It's hard because I feel that I'm not pushing myself at that rate. But, I'm going to keep trying. I also have to do some stretching every day. He suggested that I take two tests. One shows my metabolic rate. The other is an actual physical test that shows where my fat burn is happening. So, I'm going to give this month a try with the diet and excerise and see where I am.
Finally, was psychology. I was nervous and not looking forward to this. As a psychology minor, I imagined every kind of test possible that could be done. You have to pass psychology to get the surgery because there are many different issues that can prevent you from being a success. Before I had my visit with the doctor, I had to complete an 18 page questionnaire about different aspects of my life. He came in and started asking me questions about my support system (which includes of you since you all are so supportive), my childhood, my marriage, my job, my school and my goals. Dr. Keller really made me feel good about myself. He told me that I am the perfect patient for this surgery. He said with because I am self-reliant and self-disciplined that he can tell that I am a go-getter and set out to accomplish what I am doing. He can tell that I am hard worker and what is really important to me. It has been really easy in this infertility thing to lose sight of my strength and good qualities. I know you all tell me this all the time because it felt a little more real knowing someone that I just met recognized it. His only concern is that because I am so Type A and goal minded, that I can take the surgery restrictions too far. I can cut too many calories (obviously, I was already told that I did that) or excercise too much which can be bad because then your body thinks you are starving it and starts storing because it's not sure when you'll feed it again. I just have to be careful and follow the diet as planned not to maximize the weight loss. With the goal of a baby in sight, I have a strong enough goal to help keep that in perspective. He said that the Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) is not about weight loss. While the weight loss will be dramactic and worth celebrating, I really need to focus on the metabolism recharging which will help keep the weight off for good and keep me healthy.
So, it was a good day and I walked away with a different perspective on the whole WLS thing and a recharged self-confidence in myself. I go back on the 21st of November so be praying for me as I dig into this pre-op diet to lose my 10%. I almost have 2 pounds off of that so celebrate that with me!
Friday, October 25, 2013
Moments with the Mullers: Newbie at the Support Group
Moments with the Mullers: Newbie at the Support Group: This week was my first support group. I was a little nervous and was majorly dreading it. After Group Processes and Practices class semester...
Newbie at the Support Group
This week was my first support group. I was a little nervous and was majorly dreading it. After Group Processes and Practices class semester, I found a new-found disdain for group therapy. I'm not saying that it's not effective and not helpful because group therapy is probably one of the most successful therapies for many diagnoses. It's not just my bag...I need to be comfortable with someone before I share intimate details with people face to face. It was a new experience and I defintely learned some things not only about the group therapy process but about myself.
Anywho, Support Group was not like group class. I learned some things and came back inspired. First, we heard from a guest speaker who talked to use about B12. I did not know that once I have the surgery that my body will no longer be able to absorb B12 through the stomach by ingesting food or supplements. I will either have to have the shot or what he recommends is a mister. I'm fairly certain that I will choose the mister based on price and ease of use. I'm not big on shots.
Next, the facilitator shared information about Halloween candy that is quite the eye opener. The fattiest sugariest candy out there for Halloween is Twix. Because of the extra carbs from the cookie, it makes it the worst. I guessed Reese's but alas I was wrong. He opened up the floor for people who have had surgery to talk about Halloween and the impact that the holiday has on you after surgery. Most of the people in there stated that they stay far far far away from any sugar because of the sickness and such that comes from eating it and there were a few that can not resist certain items. There were some good ideas about how to keep on track during this holiday. One was to hand out pretzels or popcorn. Another idea is to hand out stickers, rulers, and my favorite idea is glow sticks. I may even start this year. Glow sticks are at the dollar tree and kids will LOVE them!
Then, he opened up the floor for updates for those who have had the surgery. There were several that were within 1 month to 1 year out each with his or her individual success. There really didn't seem to be any co-relations between any different items. One woman had surgery in August and had a pre-surgery loss of 42 and a total weight loss of 123 as of yesterday. To me, that is amazing! But my favorite story was a woman who had a pre-surgery loss of 64 pounds and another loss of 296 pounds! She's four years out and just had plastic surgery to remove another 20 pounds of skin! These are the stories we newbies need to hear. This encouragment and you can do it attitude is never more exemplified than by people who have done it/doing it. I loved this story and felt in my being that I have made the right decision because of the people around me during that meeting.
I can honestly say now that I see why they make you go. It's not to have you sit around to hear the sob stories of all those in the group. It's so that you can get all of your fears calmed, questions asked, and support from people who have been there, done that and I like that.
After group, it was almost 8:00pm and we had to drive the long stretch home from Edmond to McAlester. It's not exciting and thankfully I had the sense to download Django before we left so I could keep awake. We stopped at one my favorite restaurants (Cracker Barrel) and had a nice meal. I had grilled chicken which was a good choice; however, I did have mashed potatoes and gravy and hashbrown casserole. I don't feel bad about it. It's my goodbye to bad choices. I gave up pop, I can do this.
So for now, I'm going to enjoy my weekend and enjoy food and have a food funeral weekend. Starting Monday, it's Regime Change in the Muller household that includes 96oz of water, maybe some Powerade Zero, protein shakes, protein bars, lean protein and vegetables. Also, I'm going to walk a little on my lunch so that I'm not missing food at the time because I'm up moving around. It's time to start working on this 10%.
Next week, look forward to hearing about my psych visit, dietician and the plan for me, as well as the excercise plan for me. It's going to be a long hard road, but worth it in the end.
Thanks for listening! Love to hear your encouragment and prayers!
Anywho, Support Group was not like group class. I learned some things and came back inspired. First, we heard from a guest speaker who talked to use about B12. I did not know that once I have the surgery that my body will no longer be able to absorb B12 through the stomach by ingesting food or supplements. I will either have to have the shot or what he recommends is a mister. I'm fairly certain that I will choose the mister based on price and ease of use. I'm not big on shots.
Next, the facilitator shared information about Halloween candy that is quite the eye opener. The fattiest sugariest candy out there for Halloween is Twix. Because of the extra carbs from the cookie, it makes it the worst. I guessed Reese's but alas I was wrong. He opened up the floor for people who have had surgery to talk about Halloween and the impact that the holiday has on you after surgery. Most of the people in there stated that they stay far far far away from any sugar because of the sickness and such that comes from eating it and there were a few that can not resist certain items. There were some good ideas about how to keep on track during this holiday. One was to hand out pretzels or popcorn. Another idea is to hand out stickers, rulers, and my favorite idea is glow sticks. I may even start this year. Glow sticks are at the dollar tree and kids will LOVE them!
Then, he opened up the floor for updates for those who have had the surgery. There were several that were within 1 month to 1 year out each with his or her individual success. There really didn't seem to be any co-relations between any different items. One woman had surgery in August and had a pre-surgery loss of 42 and a total weight loss of 123 as of yesterday. To me, that is amazing! But my favorite story was a woman who had a pre-surgery loss of 64 pounds and another loss of 296 pounds! She's four years out and just had plastic surgery to remove another 20 pounds of skin! These are the stories we newbies need to hear. This encouragment and you can do it attitude is never more exemplified than by people who have done it/doing it. I loved this story and felt in my being that I have made the right decision because of the people around me during that meeting.
I can honestly say now that I see why they make you go. It's not to have you sit around to hear the sob stories of all those in the group. It's so that you can get all of your fears calmed, questions asked, and support from people who have been there, done that and I like that.
After group, it was almost 8:00pm and we had to drive the long stretch home from Edmond to McAlester. It's not exciting and thankfully I had the sense to download Django before we left so I could keep awake. We stopped at one my favorite restaurants (Cracker Barrel) and had a nice meal. I had grilled chicken which was a good choice; however, I did have mashed potatoes and gravy and hashbrown casserole. I don't feel bad about it. It's my goodbye to bad choices. I gave up pop, I can do this.
So for now, I'm going to enjoy my weekend and enjoy food and have a food funeral weekend. Starting Monday, it's Regime Change in the Muller household that includes 96oz of water, maybe some Powerade Zero, protein shakes, protein bars, lean protein and vegetables. Also, I'm going to walk a little on my lunch so that I'm not missing food at the time because I'm up moving around. It's time to start working on this 10%.
Next week, look forward to hearing about my psych visit, dietician and the plan for me, as well as the excercise plan for me. It's going to be a long hard road, but worth it in the end.
Thanks for listening! Love to hear your encouragment and prayers!
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Moments with the Mullers: Negative Nancies are NOT welcome! Big decision rev...
Moments with the Mullers: Negative Nancies are NOT welcome! Big decision rev...: Let me again preface this saying if you are a Negative Nancy I don't want you here. This blog was created so that others like me can get...
Negative Nancies are NOT welcome! Big decision revealed
Let me again preface this saying if you are a Negative Nancy I don't want you here. This blog was created so that others like me can get information and strength from my words. Also, so my supportive family and friends can keep up with what is going on in our lives. I am hard enough on myself and have enough negativity around me, I don't need you. Also, I won't tolerate it. I will block you both from my online activities and my life.
The last time I blogged (January), I was informed that we were done with fertility treatments because I was not responding to the medicine. My wonderful physician gave me two options: The first In Vitro and the second was Weight Loss Surgery. It was a hard hit and I've really had a hard time dealing with it especially since everytime I turn around someone has announced he or she is going to have a baby. It's not easy and I wouldn't wish this kind of suffering on my worst enemy. I feel empty. Thank God I have the support system that I have or I wouldn't have made it through this. Nothing has tested my faith in God and humanity more than this experience and nothing has brought me closer to God than this experience.
So, about March, I started researching both options. Both are great options. However, we have made our decision. We have decided to proceed with the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. This is also not any easy decision. This is what I meant by negativity. I really don't want or need any "This is the easy way out." "Are you sure you want to do this?" "Have you tried Weight Watchers?". I have researched and thought and prayed and I am sticking my decision. I cannot be any clearer that if you project your negativity here, I'm done. Anyways, I've sat through two webinars and this is what meets my needs. A few weeks ago, we were approved for the loan to have the surgery done. You can research how much it is. It's not cheap and most insurances do not cover this procedure (Insert write your congressman speech you've already heard here).
Today, I met with my surgeon and it more than reinforced that this is the right decision. It was wonderful. He answered all my questions. The first obviously was when can we start TTC again. The answer is 18 months. 18 looonnggg months. The upside is that this surgery will more than likely drastically change my fertility. So much that I have to be established on birth control before my surgery. There are somethings that I have to complete before I can have my surgery. I have to have some extensive lab work done, an EKG, and I have to lose 10% of my body weight. It's not going to be easy but nobody said that any of this would. It just makes me that much stronger and will make me that much more appreciative of Johnathan, my family, my co-workers (Marge, Tiffany & Amber, I honestly don't know what I would do without you gals!), my friends and my future children. This surgery will also help with my PCOS symptoms and also allow me to have a healthy pregnancy and a the possiblity of a long life with my babies.
I go back on Tuesday to meet with the psychologist, the dietician, and the exercise specialist. I have projected date of the 2nd week of January for the actual sugery. I'm excited. I'm scared. I'm anxious. I'm hopeful. I have a long way to go but I'm pretty confident I can get there and before you know it, you'll be reading a blog with even bigger and better news.
Right now, I just need prayers and support. I'm really happy with our decision. There are some things I'm not happy about like the birth control and the psych test, but I know it's what is best for all who is involved. Thank you in advance for your thoughts and your prayers! God bless each and every one of you!
The last time I blogged (January), I was informed that we were done with fertility treatments because I was not responding to the medicine. My wonderful physician gave me two options: The first In Vitro and the second was Weight Loss Surgery. It was a hard hit and I've really had a hard time dealing with it especially since everytime I turn around someone has announced he or she is going to have a baby. It's not easy and I wouldn't wish this kind of suffering on my worst enemy. I feel empty. Thank God I have the support system that I have or I wouldn't have made it through this. Nothing has tested my faith in God and humanity more than this experience and nothing has brought me closer to God than this experience.
So, about March, I started researching both options. Both are great options. However, we have made our decision. We have decided to proceed with the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. This is also not any easy decision. This is what I meant by negativity. I really don't want or need any "This is the easy way out." "Are you sure you want to do this?" "Have you tried Weight Watchers?". I have researched and thought and prayed and I am sticking my decision. I cannot be any clearer that if you project your negativity here, I'm done. Anyways, I've sat through two webinars and this is what meets my needs. A few weeks ago, we were approved for the loan to have the surgery done. You can research how much it is. It's not cheap and most insurances do not cover this procedure (Insert write your congressman speech you've already heard here).
Today, I met with my surgeon and it more than reinforced that this is the right decision. It was wonderful. He answered all my questions. The first obviously was when can we start TTC again. The answer is 18 months. 18 looonnggg months. The upside is that this surgery will more than likely drastically change my fertility. So much that I have to be established on birth control before my surgery. There are somethings that I have to complete before I can have my surgery. I have to have some extensive lab work done, an EKG, and I have to lose 10% of my body weight. It's not going to be easy but nobody said that any of this would. It just makes me that much stronger and will make me that much more appreciative of Johnathan, my family, my co-workers (Marge, Tiffany & Amber, I honestly don't know what I would do without you gals!), my friends and my future children. This surgery will also help with my PCOS symptoms and also allow me to have a healthy pregnancy and a the possiblity of a long life with my babies.
I go back on Tuesday to meet with the psychologist, the dietician, and the exercise specialist. I have projected date of the 2nd week of January for the actual sugery. I'm excited. I'm scared. I'm anxious. I'm hopeful. I have a long way to go but I'm pretty confident I can get there and before you know it, you'll be reading a blog with even bigger and better news.
Right now, I just need prayers and support. I'm really happy with our decision. There are some things I'm not happy about like the birth control and the psych test, but I know it's what is best for all who is involved. Thank you in advance for your thoughts and your prayers! God bless each and every one of you!
Monday, January 7, 2013
I'm baaaccckkkk :)
I know it's been a while since I've posted. Nothing fertility wise has changed. Wait, I did get that I have to lose 75 pounds to try fertility measures again. BOO!
Anyways, it's a new year so I thought I would give weight watchers a try again. It worked before and with hard work and dedication, this can work again!
Why am I going to blog it everyday? I'm hoping that you as my friends will help hold me accountable. If it's been a few days since you saw a post. Message me. Ask me if I'm okay. Weight loss is not just a physical battle, but an emotional rollercoaster. I feel like I have so much on the line, that one pound can make or break me achieving my life long goal: to be a mother.
I did make some resolulations:
1. Get back on the weight watchers program
2. Fix my hair for work
3. Read our Bible before bed
4. Drink 64oz of water each day.
5. Take Metformin and STAY ON IT!
So let's get started with today.
I did NOT fix my hair. One resolution already broken. But hey, baby steps. I did pack all of my meals and snacks. It looked like I was about to hibernate. I had a huge WalMart bag full of groceries. My breakfast menu consisted of:
1 packet of instant brown suger & maple oatmeal
1 tsp of honey
1/2 c. of grapefruit in 100% natural juice
I felt pretty good about bfast. I usually don't eat so this actually felt good.
At 10:30, I had my morning snack. My morning snack was an Atkins Shake which tasted like crap, but with 15g of protein, this filled me up. I also ate an orange.
Since we were so tired yesterday, we didn't make it to WalMart. No worries, the cafeteria had grilled chicken and a stocked salad bar. It was delicious and hit the spot.
However, rabbit food doesn't stick to your bones for very long. By 3:00, I was hungry again. I bought these amazing multigrain crackers at Sam's and they were delicious. I also had a 1/2 c. of applesauce and a reduced fat sharp cheddar stick.
When I got off work, we ran to WalMart to finish getting groceries. We have a pretty good stock now. Did I mention we bought a deep freeze!? Super pumped! Anyways, we bought groceries and by that excerise of the mind and the body, we came home. I portioned out my grapes (18) out into 21 bags. By the time we were done, I was starving and ready for supper. I also had an almond sweet and salty bar. They are my fav and it's so hard to stop at one.
For dinner I had 6 oz of lean pork tenderloin, 1/2 c. of green beans seasoned with 1 Tbsp of light butter, garlic, sea salt and pepper, and 1 medium red potato with 2 Tspn of fat free sour cream. It was definetly worth the wait! Yum Yum Yum!!
For a dessert, I had 3/4 c. of Chobani chocolate vanilla bean yogurt. It was meh.
I didn't include points because my computer wanted to upgrade and it failed and then my phone wouldn't sync. Hopefully, I get this fixed for tomorrow. I do now that after my afternoon snack, I still had 32 points to use. I know I didn't get near that.
Right now, I'm taking it day by day and trying to come up with some great ideas. Today, my pallate was more than satified with a sweet, savory, and salty parts of the meals.
Tomorrow, might be a different story. You noticed one resolution is to take my medicine??? That means gut rot will be back....
So, don't wish me luck. It's going to take more than luck to get through this. Give me encouragement and tips and hold me accountable.
With Christ nothing is impossible. I just have to keep that in mind when my brother tells me to come over for pizza (which he did on purpose tonight)!
As always, keep us in your prayers! We can do this!
Anyways, it's a new year so I thought I would give weight watchers a try again. It worked before and with hard work and dedication, this can work again!
Why am I going to blog it everyday? I'm hoping that you as my friends will help hold me accountable. If it's been a few days since you saw a post. Message me. Ask me if I'm okay. Weight loss is not just a physical battle, but an emotional rollercoaster. I feel like I have so much on the line, that one pound can make or break me achieving my life long goal: to be a mother.
I did make some resolulations:
1. Get back on the weight watchers program
2. Fix my hair for work
3. Read our Bible before bed
4. Drink 64oz of water each day.
5. Take Metformin and STAY ON IT!
So let's get started with today.
I did NOT fix my hair. One resolution already broken. But hey, baby steps. I did pack all of my meals and snacks. It looked like I was about to hibernate. I had a huge WalMart bag full of groceries. My breakfast menu consisted of:
1 packet of instant brown suger & maple oatmeal
1 tsp of honey
1/2 c. of grapefruit in 100% natural juice
I felt pretty good about bfast. I usually don't eat so this actually felt good.
At 10:30, I had my morning snack. My morning snack was an Atkins Shake which tasted like crap, but with 15g of protein, this filled me up. I also ate an orange.
Since we were so tired yesterday, we didn't make it to WalMart. No worries, the cafeteria had grilled chicken and a stocked salad bar. It was delicious and hit the spot.
However, rabbit food doesn't stick to your bones for very long. By 3:00, I was hungry again. I bought these amazing multigrain crackers at Sam's and they were delicious. I also had a 1/2 c. of applesauce and a reduced fat sharp cheddar stick.
When I got off work, we ran to WalMart to finish getting groceries. We have a pretty good stock now. Did I mention we bought a deep freeze!? Super pumped! Anyways, we bought groceries and by that excerise of the mind and the body, we came home. I portioned out my grapes (18) out into 21 bags. By the time we were done, I was starving and ready for supper. I also had an almond sweet and salty bar. They are my fav and it's so hard to stop at one.
For dinner I had 6 oz of lean pork tenderloin, 1/2 c. of green beans seasoned with 1 Tbsp of light butter, garlic, sea salt and pepper, and 1 medium red potato with 2 Tspn of fat free sour cream. It was definetly worth the wait! Yum Yum Yum!!
For a dessert, I had 3/4 c. of Chobani chocolate vanilla bean yogurt. It was meh.
I didn't include points because my computer wanted to upgrade and it failed and then my phone wouldn't sync. Hopefully, I get this fixed for tomorrow. I do now that after my afternoon snack, I still had 32 points to use. I know I didn't get near that.
Right now, I'm taking it day by day and trying to come up with some great ideas. Today, my pallate was more than satified with a sweet, savory, and salty parts of the meals.
Tomorrow, might be a different story. You noticed one resolution is to take my medicine??? That means gut rot will be back....
So, don't wish me luck. It's going to take more than luck to get through this. Give me encouragement and tips and hold me accountable.
With Christ nothing is impossible. I just have to keep that in mind when my brother tells me to come over for pizza (which he did on purpose tonight)!
As always, keep us in your prayers! We can do this!
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