Tuesday, February 3, 2015

If Google could shut down for the next six months...That'd be great

So, it's the last week of my first trimester!! That means it should be smooth sailing for the next three months until we hit the third, but again every pregnancy is a little different.

This week Poppyseed is the size of a Georgia peach. At 2.9 inches long, the baby weighs almost an ounce! This week teeth and vocal cords are forming. I'm so excited about hearing that first cry!! Did you know Poppyseed already has fingerprints?! The intestines are moving from the umbilical cord to the tummy! Now, the head is just 1/3 the size of the body making the baby to look more baby like. The point is that the baby is growing growing growing!

So, what's changed? I don't have as much nauseousness, except at night after I have had the dreaded vitamin regimen. I honestly LOATHE those six vitamins a night that I have to take. The prenatal smells like fish and I can taste it afterwards. The BComplex smells like stale popcorn in a smelly shoe. It's gross. I HATE vitamin time. Hate it.

I've been having bouts of dizziness. It usually happens at WalMart. Dizziness is completely normal. But I'm not gonna lie, I panic when I get the feeling that I'm about to pass out because it's not always easy to find somewhere to go and sit down until the time passes. Headaches are here as well. These aren't very fun, but I honestly don't miss being sick in the mornings.

The most embarrassing new things is the need to pee and the fact that I didn't make it to the restroom. Soooooo, we had to go to Tulsa so that I could take a test. I get there and their restrooms are out of order. This was a three hour test FYI. So, I did what I had to do. I held it. After the test, we headed to the mall. I wanted to look at some maternity clothes. I mad dashed to the restroom, only to barely miss it. I've never been so embarrassed in my life. Since God gave me the good sense to prepare for moments like these, it wasn't that big of a deal, but still embarrassing. Lesson learned here kids. My bladder is not the same nor will it ever be.

The scariest thing this week was I woke up to a little spotting. (Insert freaking out here.) I'm still scared about this. We called and received medical advice that this is completely normal, but I am freaking out. It didn't help that I Googled today "Can you have a miscarriage and not know it?" The answer is Yes, yes you can. Did this console me? Absolutely not. I am more scared now than I have been this whole time. The problem is that we've been so used to seeing and hearing our little miracle every two weeks that I'm starting to get a little anxious because it's been three weeks since we've seen or heard the baby. A LOT can happen in two weeks. I've Googled it and there are so many scary stories out there. Plus, we have to wait two more weeks for a doctor's appointment and seven more weeks until an ultrasound. I know that this anxiousness is normal, but I honestly have not slept since Saturday. I just have a bad feeling. No joke, I am so scared that something is wrong. So, if Google could just shut down for the next six months or even two weeks, that would be great.

The main thing that I need prayer for this week is for peace. I know it's not healthy all this worrying and I know all this worrying is not helping anything. But, it's not easy not to worry. We've been praying for this for so long that I'm just concerned that it's been too easy so far to be true. So, remember me this week in prayers and Johnathan too because when I freak out like this, he worries double because he feels helpless. I'm really trying to focus on Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." So, just pray that I can concentrate on this an not panic so much. Also, keep praying for my little Poppyseed that he or she keeps growing and is safe.

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