I haven't written in a while and was suddenly inspired to tonight.
Wednesday nights are so very hard for me, because of my classroom at church. I have one student who has some serious behaviorial issues that no one not even my Nana or Papa can control. I get so stressed out and frustrated that the task at hand (teaching a Bible lesson) becomes a circus.
Tonight was no different. It was crazy and kids don't listen. I came home with a huge headache and so very stressed out. So, I realize I need to post for school and I had a notice that Dr. Reshef had posted a new video.
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if that doesn't work....here is the link.....
http://www.news9.com/category/116601/video-page?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=6736781
Anyways, it is about an Oklahoma Weather girl who is battling infertility. I have people who put me down all of the time for battling infertility and PCOS publically since socially, some of the things I blog about is inapproprate to talk about. My answer to that is: Don't read my blog, then.
Anyway, Dr. Reshef is truly amazing and in this video you can really see his compassion and love for his patients. In a way, he has given me the tiniest bit of hope by just posting that video.
Since my last blog, I haven't been dieting or going to the gym. No matter how positive I tried to stay, I couldn't focus. I am so angry that I have to face this and that some of my loved ones have to face this. I am angry that I feel empty and ugly and unwomanly. I am angry that I have to work so hard to lose weight and that my hair is falling out and that I have hair where most women don't have hair. I am angry my arms go empty while literally millions of children are being abused and/or neglected while you are reading this blog. It's not fair.
However, life is not fair. I was not promised a fair life. This video showed me that with a little more hard work and hope and prayer miracles can happen. It also reassured me that I am not alone. I know so many of you are reading this and experiencing the same hurt and anger and confusion that I am and I hope you know you are not alone and I am always here if you need someone to talk/vent/cry to.
My plan is to get back on track with everything that Dr. Reshef has recommended and to get my spiritual life back on track by daily reading and searching for God's plan for my life.
Thank you all for being my sound board, and though I am not sure Dr. Reshef can or is reading this, I really want to thank him for uploading that video on Integris Henry Bennet Fertility Center website.
God bless you all!
Hang in there! You can do it!
ReplyDeleteAnd don't feel ashamed of being open about your condition. I'm there with you and it's time to stop hiding our struggles and be open about them. Because we're not alone, you never know who you might be helping by being open about it AND like you said, if they don't like it, don't read it.
One day we're going to get there. One day we will have out babies and every hurtful comment, every judgemental stare from someone will be forgotten. Because looking at that precious face will be the only thing that matters. It's gonna happen... for both of us. Hang in there!
Sending you love and prayers,
Regina
Thank you Regina! It is wonderful that I have friends like you who are so supportive and there for me! And I agree we are going to be great mommy's with such an inspiring story (like the one in the video) one day!
ReplyDeleteLove and prayers for you too!