After last blog's boo hoo session (which I'm not going to promise is the last), I really got some inspiration and drive. So today, I started back on weight watchers! After saving up mega points to go out to eat at an Italian restaurant with Johnathan and his family, I still have three points left over! I'm pretty excited for myself.
I know that I said that Johnathan and I were going to go to the gym at 5:30 a.m., but when that alarm when off I just couldn't get up. No worries! We made back from Atoka in time to make it to the gym for a work out. I walked on the treadmill for 25 minutes, did a half mile around the track (running one of those laps), and 2 minutes on the elliptical. Two minutes on that machine (that I'm sure was fashioned in hell) is all that I can handle! lol! I even walked with some 2lbs weights. My arms around my elbows are KILLING me!!! LOL! But I feel great! I took 2 Ibuprofen to help me feel not so sore in the morning, but right now I feel great.
I feel like I can do this! I can get in shape and lose 10% of my weight to ovulate! I'm going to keep this up for a month to make sure I don't cycle and then take the Clomid and pray pray pray pray that it works. I can do this. It's not mission impossible!
While we are working on shaping up our physical bodies, we are also working on shaping up our spiritual bodies. Every morning, Johnathan and I have been doing a Bible study together. We believe it is important as a married couple to go to God together in the mornings. It is also helping our marriage grow!
This morning our devotional spoke to me specifically. The book is 365 Devotions put together by Gary Allen. The Title this morning was Learning to Trust God's Timing. Scripture was Psalm 90:1-12. He says, "I've learned that waiting is a part of life, especially in my walk with God. I have to remind myself often that God does not work according to my schedule. Nor does He count the days the way I do. What seems like a long period of time for me is merely perfect timing with God." I need to remind myself of this daily. Though I may be counting every 30 days (a cycle) God's not counting like I am; He has His own perfect timetable that is perfect for my time and a time to bless me with a baby.
So tomorrow it starts all over. Weight Watchers and gym. I mean it's not killing me, and in the long run, with make me healthier!
So, for now, I am going to pray that I'm not so sore in the morning (lol) and pray that God helps me keep my faith in check!
Thank you all for support. Nothing means more to me than prayers, kind words, and support!
Love you all!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
Just to calm everybody's fears......
So, on November 2nd I had decided to play the whole "Name something that you're thankful for for each day until Thanksgiving." I missed day one. So on Day #2 I posted, "I'm late, but it's whatev's." Unbeknownst to me, this caused a sense of mass confusion and I received a flurry of text messages, facebook messages and phone calls asking if I had any news I would like to share. So, let me clear....I am not pregnant.
To be honest, the medicine I filled back in September is staring at me in face right now. It's on our speaker where it has sat since the prescription has been filled.
I am scared. I'm not too proud to admit it. I am terrified that it will not work. I want this so badly that I don't want to screw this up. I used to think I was so strong. That I could handle anything. Boy, was I wrong. This is extremely hard. It is so hard to look at those pills and be too afraid to take them. I can't explain it and I pray that none of you have to feel this.
Yesterday, I thought I had started my cycle, but it was cruel joke that my body played on me. Hence the reason why I'm blogging. It is so very hard to be able to talk about it with any one. Even Johnathan. I usually end up bawling and getting out some unrecognizable words. With writing this blog, I can get it all it and feel like a ton of weight is lifted off of my shoulders.
I have some decisions to make. I mean, we (Johnathan and I) have some decisions to make.
#1. We have to start exercising. I say we because I need someone to be there with me to motivate me and to tell me I doing good. I want to join the gym, but I am soooo embarrassed because I had been a member of the Wellness Center and we gave that up. I am not a quitter, but I feel like it now. I also worry that people are watching me and judging. I know I shouldn't worry about what people think, but I do. I can't help.
#2. We need to eat better. Again, I say we because there's no way I can enjoy a salad while Johnathan eats a hamburger and fries. This is going to be a tough one because of Thanksgiving and Christmas. But I have to do this right???? Not just for me to get pregnant but for me to stay healthy for when I do and to stay healthy for my future children.
#3. I have to take to those pills. Even if it's just to get it over with.
#4. We have to decide our next step after the pills.
This is so hard and I really do need some help. I need prayers and some good sage advice. I need encouragement. I need strength. I know most of my strength comes from God and I do believe he provides me with strength but there are some days when i can barely make it through the day. So please send me your encouragements, prayers, advice, or anything. You can text me or message me or whatever.
For right now, I am dwelling on Psalm 121:
"I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore. "
Again, I thank you all so much for even taking the time to read this and in advance for your prayers and words of encouragement.
To be honest, the medicine I filled back in September is staring at me in face right now. It's on our speaker where it has sat since the prescription has been filled.
I am scared. I'm not too proud to admit it. I am terrified that it will not work. I want this so badly that I don't want to screw this up. I used to think I was so strong. That I could handle anything. Boy, was I wrong. This is extremely hard. It is so hard to look at those pills and be too afraid to take them. I can't explain it and I pray that none of you have to feel this.
Yesterday, I thought I had started my cycle, but it was cruel joke that my body played on me. Hence the reason why I'm blogging. It is so very hard to be able to talk about it with any one. Even Johnathan. I usually end up bawling and getting out some unrecognizable words. With writing this blog, I can get it all it and feel like a ton of weight is lifted off of my shoulders.
I have some decisions to make. I mean, we (Johnathan and I) have some decisions to make.
#1. We have to start exercising. I say we because I need someone to be there with me to motivate me and to tell me I doing good. I want to join the gym, but I am soooo embarrassed because I had been a member of the Wellness Center and we gave that up. I am not a quitter, but I feel like it now. I also worry that people are watching me and judging. I know I shouldn't worry about what people think, but I do. I can't help.
#2. We need to eat better. Again, I say we because there's no way I can enjoy a salad while Johnathan eats a hamburger and fries. This is going to be a tough one because of Thanksgiving and Christmas. But I have to do this right???? Not just for me to get pregnant but for me to stay healthy for when I do and to stay healthy for my future children.
#3. I have to take to those pills. Even if it's just to get it over with.
#4. We have to decide our next step after the pills.
This is so hard and I really do need some help. I need prayers and some good sage advice. I need encouragement. I need strength. I know most of my strength comes from God and I do believe he provides me with strength but there are some days when i can barely make it through the day. So please send me your encouragements, prayers, advice, or anything. You can text me or message me or whatever.
For right now, I am dwelling on Psalm 121:
"I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore. "
Again, I thank you all so much for even taking the time to read this and in advance for your prayers and words of encouragement.
In the meantime, I would like to wish you an advance Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.
Thank you. We love you. And God Bless you all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)