One Line....That's all it took this morning. One line. If you haven't already guessed it, I took a pregnancy test this morning. Negative. Of course. I just don't understand how one little pink line can cause sooooo much hurt.
I haven't lost hope, it just seems like all that temperature taking and graphing and medicine is wasted. Not only did I not get pregnant this month, I didn't even drop an egg.
Where does that leave me do you ask? Back to square 1.
That's right, I refilled my prescripted for Prometrium to get me back to day 1. Then I have to go back to the doctor for another ultrasound which is sooo exciting (not) and an increased dose of Clomid. My husband is sooo excited. Another round of mood swings and hot flashes. Hot flashes never affected me before, but this time, I could not get cool. I had fans and the a.c. down low, but nothing worked.
But I have faith. Faith in God. Faith in myself. Faith in my husband. Faith in my doctor and his wonderful nurse. True this is torturing me today, but I am not alone. God is always with me in every step of this journey, seriously He carries me through days like today.
And even though I am hurting now, I know the promises He has in store for me, and I know in the end, the when I hold my little baby girl or boy, all of this hurt will disappear. Again, it's crazy the joy that can be found in two little pink lines. :)
For now I dwell on this verse:
"For I know the plans I have for you. declares the LORD, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11
So, family, friends, fellow cysters, just please continue to pray for me, I need them everyday, but today more than others.
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